Friday, April 15, 2016

Laughter

One of my sister-in-laws told me last year that in every picture she takes of me and my three brothers has me with open mouth, head back, hand on chest in full laughter. I don't think that's a bad thing. My brothers have the ability to make me laugh anytime, anywhere, usually with just a word or two.

My brothers are my best friends and I love them dearly. God gave me an awesome family and I am so blessed to be a part of it.

One of my daughters loves laughter so much she had the Chinese symbol for laughter tattooed on the back of her right shoulder. I am not a big fan of tattoos but I like her desire to put her love of laughter on parade, so to speak.

My husband of almost 35 years has the super power of being able to make me laugh. I think we are both witty and we bring it out in each other. I love to see him in full laughter mode; he scrunches up his face, his eyes closed, and the laughter comes from deep within him. God blessed me with him too.

Cooper, our furbaby, makes me laugh a lot. He tries to act dumb, but he is really smart. He plans ahead. Our home is a raised ranch and when you enter you go up seven stairs to the main level of the house. I have a tether just outside the front door to keep him from running next door to visit their dog, and he barks to let me know he needs to go outside. He takes one of his stuffed toys down the stairs and leaves it on the floor.  When he comes in, he runs upstairs and turns, waiting for me to throw his toy up to him so he can catch it. Then he becomes fast dog and races through the house, skidding on every rug so they end up in a corner. Just watching his antics makes me laugh, even though he does it every single night.

I love comedy but too many comedians think they have to be foul-mouthed to be funny but I don't find that kind of comedy funny. They use the shock value to keep people engaged, but give me sitting around a table with my hubby, my brothers and a couple of cousins and I can guarantee I will be having a laughter-induced asthma attack in less than an hour. Yeah, there will be some expletives but they aren't used for gaining more laughter.

Laughter is a great thing. A good belly laugh is healthy; everyone should try to find one every day. I hope one of my sister-in-law's photos of me is displayed at my funeral (which isn't going to happen in the foreseeable future), which will be a time of celebration and more like a Irish wake than a sad funeral. At Art Linkletter once said: "Laughter is the best medicine".

How right he was.

Tuesday, March 8, 2016

Scents Stand the Test of Time

My brothers and I lived with our mom and Grammy on 25 acres in very Rural Maine from 1960 to whenever we left to pursue our own lives. Mom continued to be the paycheck of the family while my grandmother did all the gardening, canning, volunteering in Church and Grange, cooking; and I do mean cooking. We had fresh vegetables from the garden, in season or course, partridge, rabbits, squirrels and deer showed up on the dinner table often. We had roosters and chickens that ran wild in the yard and occasionally invited to be our dinner. She baked bread almost daily and we always had some kind of a dessert after dinner. One day a week, she'd make doughnuts from scratch and we could smell them cooking when we got off the bus.

At the time, there was an attached shed, which was where the outhouse was. Thankfully it was inside the shed--Maine winters are brutal in an outhouse. Up a few stairs was an open room that stored things like empty canning jars, berry boxes, and lots of junk, because they had been through the Depression and kept everything sure they would find a use for it someday. Even though the windows were open all year, the room smelled like hot dust. I liked it up there and tried to make it my "house." Dinner was almost always mud pies which would explain the smell.

The home we lived in wasn't large by any stretch of imagination.  My uncle build a small bathroom in a little closet beside the stairs that went to the attic; a nice addition for everyone. Grammy's bedroom was just off the dining room. I used to love sitting at her antique vanity and look at her old jewelry and try to put her rollers in my long hair, which would usually tangle and she'd have to rescue me. She sat on her bed and read in her huge Bible for a long time, spend some time in prayer and then play Solitaire. She and I just hit it off and spent a lot of time together with me watching what she was doing so I could learn it. She was so special to me. She always smelled of a combination of her cooking and clothes that had hung out on the clothesline. Her room smelled of a lotion she wore only at night (she didn't want to waste it). She made most of my clothes in that room with her Singer Trundle Sewing machine. One year she made tons of outfits for my fake barbie doll, including a red corduroy coat with a fur collar, just for Christmas.

Grammy eventually was a victim of  and it broke our hearts over and over. She so wanted to cook but could longer follow a recipe. As soon as we thought we were all in bed she would try to escape but mom had been on to her and had put locks way at the top of the door, plus another contraptions that Gram would work away at for hours to no avail. Gram was diagnosed as being Diabetic and that was the point my mother said she couldn't do it anymore and found a bed at a nursing home 10 miles from home. I think it was maybe two nights later that Houdini figured how to escape. I have no doubt I would have tried to escape; the whole place reeked of urine, shit, vomit and the horrible food they were given to eat. I hated that place and I have drilled it into my husband's brain not to send me to anyplace that smells like that,

A few years later she died. We grandchildren had been out on our own for years and thankfully I had been able to see her a few weeks before she died. She was smiling and doing the jig for the nurses one morning and sat down in her chair to await lunch. She died sitting there.

Ten years later my mom was diagnosed with Dementia but it seemed that it took a very long time before it became dangerous to live in her home. I began looking a Alzheimer homes and found one that was perfect but they had no beds. I put up quite a fuss when I discovered that she no longer knew what the special necklace (alert button) was for or how she got the big bruise on her arm. I lived only a few miles away and I did her grocery shopping for her so I could keep a good eye on expired foods. I walked in that morning and she was eating a very fuzzy, moldy muffin. It was time for her to be moved.

I won't go through the entire process, but we convinced her something was wrong in the house. If we had just asked her to go, her answer would be no. The youngest brother had told me when the time came, he would be the one to take her and settle her in. When he came home, he was crying as he mixed himself a drink, drank it down and made another. It wasn't a good night for him or for any of us.

Mom is in a wonderful, caring home with a wonderful roommate that she thinks is her sister. She doesn't know she has kids or was married twice: she just knows this is the best and happiest place to be. Phew.

Okay, I said all that to say this.We were the actual owners of her house and land and began going  over to start the process. Every room I went to smelled exactly like it had 40 years ago. The dirt cellar smelled of wet wood chips that had died and rotted, It instantly made me think of the time our old Tom cat had brought home a pregnant wife, Within days she gave birth to 3 kittens that didn't look much like Old Tom. He was a dark gray tiger stripped big cat with ears that the frost had gotten to once or twice. A few weeks later, we had a bad rainstorm and our basement so we went down to check it out. One of the kittens we called Blondie because she was so stupid and so clumsy. She was very pretty, mostly white with a few yellow spots and very long fur, She thought she could surely make that 6 inch jump to another rock, but she missed by about 2 inches. We rescued her and she looked a third of her size with all her fluff wet.

Gram canned anything and everything and the nicely labeled jar were perfectly lined up on the shelves. It was also the coolest place in the house so we stored our potatoes and onions there. Every once in awhile we'd miss an onions that was rotting and it would smell awful until we found the culprets.

The attic also had a certain scent. It wasn't at all unpleasant and I give about anything to be taking a nap up there. My brothers room was one half of the whole attic and I shared a room with my mom off the kitchen. Even though Mom and I were definitely girly-girls, it was definetley a girl room, I was just starting to wear makeup and she had started going out on Saturday night.

Times moved forward and we were spending a lot of time emptying out mom's house after she had gone to her new home. Growing up when she did, she threw away nothing! The little plastic dishes they use for frozen dinners: 4 piles of 100, placed in trash bag, labeled tv trays; blankets piled high throughout the house, collection of bells, collection of cardinals, tho or three old trunks filled with old photos, some not dated and labels.hundreds of rolls of paper towels, two cases of pickled beets many of which were so old they had no expiration day,

I was working to clean out a closet opposite the refrigerator and it was a dusty mess! Here were all of her plastic bags stuffed into one bag so tightly there was no chance of adding more. I pulled a bunch of folded paper bags which had been I holding onto dust for at least a decade. I found a mouse skeleton and lots of poops, and a huge pile of egg crates came tumbling down and put the dust up. I have asthma and hadn't brought my inhaler over because I thought this would be an easy job. I started coughing and couldn't stop, I called to my dog and we got out of there. I'd come back another day and work on it some more.

When I got home, and barely out of the shower, my phone rang. It was Cindy, the post mistress telling me that she had just heard on the scanner that my house on Campbell road was on fire. It was a total loss. So I will never again smell the scents of that house that made it home for me. Yes, we had it insured and just so you know...Nationwide is truly on your side. I cried as it burned,thinking about our lives in that house. I was so thankful that the house was completely empty of anything living, but I knew there were a few antiques that were gone for good.

Just this last week my brothers and I got an acceptable offer for the land. God is so good. The offer was more than I expected, but fortunately acceptable to my brothers. I'll write more about that 25 acres in another post.

I have a granddaughter Olivia and a number of years ago she was visiting us in Maine and fell in love with a stuffed bear I have, called Griz.I couldn't resist giving it to her, not knowing if I'd ever find another.  They had a flea infestation just before I came for a 2 week visit and Erika had washed Griz with very good results. That night as I was reading to her in bed, she sniffed her Griz and commented that it didn't smell like me anymore. She was maybe 3 or 4.

I stuffed griz into my suitcase with my clothes and gave him a fingerprint of my perfume into his neck. I slept with him that night. When Olivia woke up and grabbed Griz, she took a long inhaling hug and grinned. "He smells like you again Nana! Life was good again. You would think a smart person like me would have a picture of old Griz, but I don't.

She is now 11 and even thought I gave her a new Griz a year ago, she still sleeps with the old Griz. They were here the other day for a visit and Olivia gave me a huge hug. She looked up at me, her green/gray eyes slightly misty and said, "Oh Nana. You still smell like Nana. Don't change a thing!'

What's funny thing is I have three other granddaughters who often say my house smell like me. I hope they all have memories of these scents when they are my age.

Think about it, when you go into a place where you spent a lot of time, do you immediately know the smell? A couple years ago I went into my first elementary and immediately picked up the smell of chalk and dust.

I think our sense of smell gives us longer lasting memories of all the scent. What do you think? Do scents bring back memories for you?

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Shootin' Stuff

Let there not be any questions--I am a firm believer in the Second Amendment that gives me the right to own guns.  My husband has several, two of which are handguns, and we have been wanting to get out and do some target practice. You would think in a rural state like Maine, it would be easy to find a safe place to shoot, because there sure aren't many practice ranges.  It took us most of a whole day to find a nice safe gravel pit out in the middle of nowhere. Of course, we were also scouting for grouse covers since we were three days away from opening day.

A few months ago, Jim bought himself a really nice camera with all the lenses and gadgets that could fit in the bag, and I love to take pictures with it. My camera is a digital point-and-shoot, so whenever I can get my mitts on his camera, I do. We took the camera with us that day, hoping to see some wildlife, which didn't pan out well. It was fun shooting stuff with it though.

It was quite late in the afternoon by the time we found the gravel pit and set up the target. It was a short sleeve kind of fall day and very pleasant. Having just getting hearing aids, I was super careful with ear protection;I took the aids out, put in styrofoam earplugs and over-the-ear protection as well. I also had some shooting safety glasses. I was not messing around with my safety or that of my beloved Jim.

First we tried out the 9mm. It is going to take a lot of practice getting used to the trigger pressure on that bad boy. You almost think it's not going to shoot, then it does. Jim found that it hurt his arthritic thumb. We were shooting from about 30 feet and did quite well hitting the target. Then we took turns with the .22 revolver. So much easier to shoot and be accurate! We moved up to 20 feet and then 10 feet. We were doing a good job of hitting the middle area of the target.

One of my goals was to shoot a red cup with the 9mm, and I succeeded! I was in the area of 20 feet, so I felt pretty good about it. We were hot, tired and thirsty so we called it a day and headed for home.

I am so grateful to live in a country where I can just go shoot up stuff. I don't mean people by any means; I value everyone's life. My camera shoots people; if an intruder came into my home and threatened me or my family I wouldn't hesitate to pull the trigger.

Unfortunately, our government is doing their best to take that right away. That's when the shit will hit the fan.

Thursday, September 10, 2015

It's a Girl!

I am so honored to have son-in-laws that are willing to share their wives' pregnancies and births with me. I try to stay in the background of things and not be in what will be their memories. Today I went to an ultrasound of the next grandchild in the lineup, which we found out two weeks ago is a girl. Ultrasounds have come a long way, let me tell you. 

When I had babies back in the 70's you got to hear the heartbeat, but that was it. Now you get 3-D images of the face at 22 weeks that are clear enough to see who the baby resembles. In this case, she looks like her mom. Amazing. 

Kat is now past the sick stage and has lots of energy and feels great. She glows, as does the proud father, Sean. He and Kat have one daughter together, plus she has two from a previous relationship, and Sean is a superhero father in my opinion. I wish I could have had a father like him growing up. He just loves his "girls".

We are quite sure that this will be the last grandchild. Ten is a good number. I hope they all go forth and multiply and give us lots of great-grandchildren to enjoy.

Thank you God, for our children, their spouses and grandchildren. We are truly blessed.

Friday, July 31, 2015

Widdle Cooper Batey

We adopted Cooper four years ago. He was living with a family that had two young children that didn't understand that you couldn't torment a small dog and not expect some backlash. When he started nipping, the owner advertised she was looking for a new home for him. It happened to be at a time in my life that I was struggling with depression and loneliness, so I talked it over with Jim and Cooper came home with us. He was very timid at first; we didn't know he knew how to bark until we'd had him for three weeks!

Cooper was so good for me; I have fibromyalgia and I need to get out and about but it feels so good to just stay in my jammies all day. Cooper needed a walk twice a day so I walked twice a day too. Even though it was winter, it felt good. Cooper immediately know whose hand fed him and he was my little velcro puppy. He is a Shihtzu/Maltese mix and his hair was all matted when we got him. I patiently brushed him and cut out the mats that I couldn't brush out.

Cooper had very few accidents in the house and he didn't chew things that didn't belong to him. He became our evening entertainment with his stuffed animals. I quickly taught him to shake a paw, sit, and if he wanted to, he would come on command. Eventually he learned more tricky things like "go look out the window" or "Hurry up, door is closing!" He plays dead so well he could work in Hollywood.

Jim and I are going to Cape Breton Island for a couple of weeks, but Cooper is going to stay behind at a local kennel. It breaks my heart not to take him, but he will be wintering in Florida with us this winter. He gets such balls of snow on his paws that I think he'll enjoy a snow-less winter. I know I will.

He is such a joy to us. Jim, who wasn't convinced that we shouldn't be getting a bird dog instead, loves him dearly. I do know that Cooper will most likely be our last dog. Jim just retired and we are looking forward to traveling, kayaking, golfing--all of which are difficult or impossible to do with a dog. In the meantime, I wouldn't trade my "widdle" Cooper Batey for all the tea in China.


Friday, July 24, 2015

How Little Boys Steal Your Heart

I love little girls.  My favorite age for little girls as four.  By age four they have developed a real personality and can carry on conversations that absolutely slay me. I think of my granddaughter Becky, who once told me she has a really bad science infection. She  was just as serious as could be and her great big blue-grey eyes so solemn and serious. How does one keep from bursting out laughing?

Our last four grandchildren have been all boys. At one time we were convinced that we were never going to have grandchildren, then five girls came along. We were then convinced we'd never have any grandsons and we have been blessed with four in a row. Kat is pregnant and is sure she is having another girl (she already has three). As difficult as her pregnancy is going, I just hope for a healthy baby.

I wasn't prepared for the first boy that came along. I was used to cuddly little girls who liked to color in my Barbie Coloring books, and play dressup, and do makeovers. The first boy, Brandon, was a premie and was in the hospital for several weeks. The first time I got to hold him he was 2 weeks old with tubes coming out of him like quills. Although he was early, he was seven pounds, but it took his lungs a while to catch up. Now he's a lover and never shies away from hugs and kisses or being read to.

Our daughter from Miami was up the last two weeks and I fell in love with her boys. For obvious reason I don't see them as often as the others, but what little heart-stealers they are. Steve is so smart and amazes me with his understanding of things. He plays rummy with a ruthlessness rarely seen in an eight year old and can keep up with an adult playing ping pong.




Miles will be three next December and all women present fell in love with Miles. He's a very happy boy and he's absolutely okay with hugs and kisses. He has a smile on his face most of the time and is happy to take your hand when walking him down to the lake.

Owen is the newest and will be a year old next month. I was there for his birth and I will never forget it. He was born at home, in their bed with me and a midwife present. Of the 9 current grandchildren, I have been at all but four births, but this one was so special. I have to admit, I was nervous with the idea of a 39 year old woman giving birth at home, but she had delivered the others with no problem. I'll be honest, I did my share of praying for them.

Owen is a sweet boy, and he barely ever cries. You can see his wheels turning as he watches his surroundings, and he is very close to walking. He smiles a lot, proudly showing off his new teeth. I've never been around too many baby boys, so I'm enjoying my time with them.

I'm excited at having one more grandchild coming. Another boy evens the score, but she thinks she's having another girl. Either way, I'm thrilled. Unfortunately, I won't be in Maine when she's due--Jim and are I headed to Florida for the winter. I might have a take a quick trip up to check him or her out, because that's what Nana's do.

Saturday, July 18, 2015

Grandsons. God's Gift.

We live in a very small town in Maine; population is probably around a thousand residents. I have lived here most of my adult life, and this is where we raised our four kids. When my husband and I met, he had a son and a daughter and I had two daughters. His son and my youngest were 3 months apart, the two other girls were six months apart; it was almost like raising twins. Hectic most of the time, but we got through it.

          The two older girls are now 40, the two younger 36. They have given us the best possible gift—grandchildren!  Number 10 is still in the oven. For a while there were five girls and no boys, but four boys came along to even up the score. They range in age from 16 to one year and I am just so in love with all of them. Probably every Grammy says their grandkids are the most beautiful and smartest, but mine really are. No sense in you arguing the point, because God loves me best!

          It is very rare to get them all together at the same time, since four of them live in Miami, but the past two weeks I have been in absolute heaven. There was a wedding involved, a 40th birthday party and cousins reconnecting daily. Erika, hubby’s daughter turned 40 on July 5, and got hitched on the 11th in a perfect setting. Her daughter was bridesmaid and wore a beautiful turquoise dress and his son carried the rings. The groom and the boys wore white shirts, orange suspenders and grey jeans—and were barefoot—it was so perfect! Erika looked stunning in her gown of white. Balloons of white, turquoise and orange had been tied to tree branches and they looked magical.


 She had rented a huge home on the shore of Moosehead Lake and had perfect weather for the entire two weeks. They are flying back to Miami today, and it’s raining for the first time since they arrived. They can come back and bring us perfect weather any time they want!


          One thing that was awesome about the home they rented was the lack of TV and internet.  If the kids were bored, they’d go find something to do, and it usually involved being in the lake or on it in a kayak. I sat and watched two of the granddaughters (born 4 days apart) playing in the water yesterday and just listened and laughed at their antics. Two of the boys, a year apart in age ran around with toy guns playing FBI agents; they were protecting the house against hostile takeovers. Glad to have them keeping me safe since I had left my handgun at home.



          The point of this whole ramble? Love your kids because they will someday give you grandkids that steal your heart. Being a grandparent totally rocks and I can’t wait for #10 to come!